Silver Trophy competition in the dark on the abstract blurred light background with copy space, Blue Tone

Q: I’m a superintendent in a district where several parents have organized an event to honor special educators and others who are committed to kids with special needs. This includes paraeducators, PE teachers who go the distance to be inclusive, and music teachers who are modeling inclusion, among others. The organizers have put together this program and told the parent community that they can nominate anyone. They then invite the nominated educators to an awards banquet, call them up to the podium, and read the testimonials out loud. From the start, I’ve refused to attend. Why? Because to me this is not a merit-based program, but rather a way to celebrate individuals who have forged good relationships with parents. Plus, it makes the teachers who aren’t nominated feel unworthy when that isn’t the case. I just don’t feel the school district should be involved in honoring people who aren’t necessarily any good, and I think my presence would indicate that it’s a school-sponsored event. But now this event is huge. So many professionals are getting nominated that it’s hard to ignore. There’s been some pushback about my absence. Do you think any of this should change my opinion? Should I start attending instead of basically black-balling the whole thing?

A: You’re approaching this as a black-and-white issue, but I see plenty of shades of gray. Yes, this is an imperfect way to honor educators, but these are people who work hard for very little recognition. Does it really matter if a few “undeserving” people squeak through and get publicly acknowledged? At minimum, they’re working well with parents. Besides, one could argue that every system for granting awards has flaws. Someone will always fly below the radar — or earn an undeserved recognition. That’s life. Also, at this point, the event is so big that you could approach it as a celebration of all educators who work with kids with special needs. In any case, how great that the parent community is appreciative and honoring a variety of educators, all of whom are fostering inclusive practices.

You’re also seeing this as a binary choice when it isn’t. It doesn’t have to be “sanction and go,” or “blackball and refuse to attend.” Here are some other options. You could send in a letter that the organizers could read on your behalf. In that note, you could indicate that you view this as an opportunity to celebrate the work of all special educators in the community, not just the ones getting recognized that evening. You’d be acknowledging the contributions of the educators at the banquet without dismissing the work of everyone else. As an aside, however, I don’t believe leaders should shy away from giving awards because it might make some staff members feel bad. No one can win everything, and it’s important to acknowledge individual contributions. Leaders don’t have to treat everyone exactly the same. Besides, when superintendents and other administrators don’t celebrate educators’ successes, they send the clear message that they don’t think their staff could handle “losing.” That’s insulting. It’s better to create a culture where everyone wants to celebrate each other’s accomplishments. Plus, these teachers need to be able to model for kids that it’s OK to get passed over for an award, or to get cut from a team or the school play.

If you choose to attend but don’t want to be seen as “all in,” a second option is to be clear that you’re there because you want to support the efforts of the parents honoring your district’s educators. You could add that while it isn’t a school-system organized event, you want to encourage parent involvement in general.

Up until now, you’ve been stridently and vocally opposing the event and refusing to go. That’s still an option, but if that’s the direction you’re leaning, I’d consider sending someone in your place. Perhaps an assistant superintendent or the director for special education services. They could offer the same caveats, but also send the message that district leaders support any event that rallies the entire community behind people doing tough, important (and too-often ignored) work.

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ABOUT THE AUTHOR

Phyllis L. Fagell

Phyllis L. Fagell is the school counselor at Landon School in Washington, D.C., a therapist at the Chrysalis Group in Bethesda, Md., and the author of the Career Confidential blog. She is also the author of Middle School Matters and Middle School Superpowers, available at https://amzn.to/3Pw0pcu.